I’ve developed a sustained pattern of distress
I call it routine pain
On any given day, I can turn joy to ash
Hand me the wheel of the car so I can crash
I think about the same people everyday
All of my mistakes are available on replay.
I’ll dwell on every bad word I said
And wonder what I really meant.
I wish I could bring the part of me I love back
But he’s a needle in a haystack
Of misery
Of self loathing
This world is not my home
I’m just passing through
Trying to discover
Varying shades of blue